TOP SIGNS YOU’VE BEEN DIVING TOO LONG You see a large ship and hope it sinks so you can dive on it You go to your kids swim practice and daydream how long you can hold your breath You think carving a pumpkin underwater is actually a skill You can put your tank on faster than your winter coat You’ve saved all your old wetsuits just in case they might fit you again someday You get mad at spending $40 on a pair of Levi's, but don't mind spending $600+ for a cave diving light You seriously though about a divorce when your spouse wouldn’t learn to dive You have no idea why your ears are shot and you can’t hear worth a darn You have actually been caught wearing full scuba diving gear, including a wetsuit –in your home Your diving equipment is worth more than your car You give up a decent job so you can dive more You smell neoprene and instantly feel the urge to urinate You blow a good marriage so you can dive more Your body is worn out and you need medical attention, but that would take away from your diving time, so you continue to hobble You visit dive shops when you can't dive, just to turn the tank valves and smell the neoprene Your list of shipwrecks and dive areas you wish to dive, is longer than your list of friends You remember when 130 feet was actually called considered deep Your original scuba tank was made from an old fire extinguisher You see “antique dive equip” for sale on ebay and note that you are still diving with the same thing You remember paying $1.50 for an air fill and complaining about the price You own a double hose regulator and know how to clear it of water three different ways You’ve been so cold and frozen from diving that you can’t find your penis You seriously thought that buying an old rock quarry full of water would be a good decision Your workbench has more dive gear on it than woodworking tools